Day 188: A Bump in the Road

Today has been a rough day.  My dreams of working as an artist are slow moving.  It's odd but, honestly, I wish there was some sort of fast track.  I have the talent and experience.  I need the opportunity.   

This morning my day started with this ad titled, 'Learn how to make money doing what you love to do!'  I had seen these a million times before and reacted the hopeful way a person does when they buy a lottery ticket.  All of the amazing things that you will do with all that money flash in front of your eyes.  People that market that garbage know that is how you will react.  

Long story short, I watched the video ad that never disclosed what product you would sell but guaranteed you would be making huge comissions within weeks.  There were three testimonials.  I think this is some sort of standard for these kinds of ads.  All of them seemed phony.   

I caught myself talking back to the ad with, 'Yeah, right' or 'Oh, you are going to discount the price you are going to charge me to make money?'  Then, I started getting frustrated - then, angry.  I let my reaction of this video dictate my entire day. 

To make matters worse, I started setting up my Shopify Store today as an effort to be able to have my artwork on many platforms.  While trying to learn I had another ad pop up on Instagram telling me, 'Learn how to set up your Shopify Store and make real money.'  Hell yes.  That's what I came here to do.   

I started watching the live webinar and started getting more frustrated.  The gentleman conducting this 'live' webinar was faceless and never appeared in the video.  The best part... This was an ad to start 'Dropshipping' products to consumers from China.  There has to be something said for someone that creates their own products, right?  Needless to say, this video was my last straw.  Almost two hours of my day were completely wasted.  Then, I started to see the silver lining.   

I didn't waste two hours of my time.  I learned a valuable lesson:  If I'm going to make money doing what I love, it won't be easy and there is no video or manual that is going to show me how to do it.  See, this journey is mapped only by me.  

Is it frustrating to know that I have done everything that I was supposed to set myself for a great future and still don't have this amazing success story to share with you?  Yes.  

Does it feel good to know that there are people that would completely buy and LOVE my art but I just haven't found them yet?   No.

Is all of the discouragement of this long boring highway in the middle of my journey going to keep me from working?  Most certainly not.  

While, yes, today was a bump in the road.  I have went over it and survived.  Not only did I survive and stick to routine, I learned a valuable lesson today.  The journey is long.  The roads sometimes have no scenic view for distraction.  And, sometimes, it rains.  The clouds do go away and the view becomes clean and clear again.  Regardless if the reward comes or not, I have to keep working because it is who I am that is driving me.   

So, with that said, today was a win.  

Photo: Jeremy Eaton

Day 150: To be famous?

While many of us think of a job as a means to an end, many others are looking at a job as the thing we were born to do.  I remember being in high school and taking a career assessment test.  My assessment came back saying that my career path would be best suited for engineering.  While, at times, I can be innovative and a very stealthy problem solver, I wanted to be famous.  

I wanted to be famous.  I had no idea what fame was other than everyone would know my name and life would be easy.  I had dreams of being on Broadway because my community theatre and high school experience granted me such dream.  I wanted to be a famous singer.  Although, now, I am not sure what type of fame that would have entailed.  Then, in college, I wanted to be a famous artist.  I knew what that looked like.  I would be called to be in all of these galleries and I could just create art all day long in my studio.  

Now, in reality, I spent so much time wanting to be famous that I didn't take the time to just create because everything I did was going to create this fame.  My art was good and my ego was way too strong.  Wanting fame not only made me feel like I was missing out on something, it made me miss out on the whole part of becoming famous.  I would even say that because I didn't achieve this fame, I was worth nothing.  

Go back to the times before social media where you didn't have endless platforms to put yourself out on.  This is before YouTube, Instagram and Facebook.  Are we able to remember such a time?  This was before the smart phone.  Many people know about Steve Jobs, but many more people know about the iPhone.  It would be safe to say that the iPhone won the fame game.  was Steve Jobs ever jealous of his creation's fame?

As I started creating my InstaStory today, I thought about how this need for fame has diminished.  The need has been replaced with pure creation.  I am not creating for someone to notice me.  I'm not singing so someone will book me for a show.  I'm not taking endless photographs for a gallery to pick me up and sell my art.  I do all these things because I have.  I have to because it's who I am.  I am a creator.  I find inspiration in things people don't ordinarily pay attention to.  Creativity is like air to me.  Without creativity, I have serious issues.  

When I dissect this idea of fame, I have to say I am famous in my own way.  I am brave.  I have performed in some amazing spaces including Carnegie Hall.  I have shown my artwork on the campus of Google itself in Mountain View, CA.  I have served my community with my talents.  I guess you could say - Fame comes from within.  I create because that's who I am.  

Trying to be famous is like going to the casino and saying I'm going to win $1,000,000.  It rarely happens, but, every now and then, you win $60 on a slot machine called Kitty Glitter.