Day 115: Routines

Lately, I have been having a hard time with routines.  The more I try to become solid in a routines, the more often things come up and I am thrown out of the routine that I started.  I wake up everyday at the same time without an alarm.  For the most part, I fall asleep at the same time with or without  choice.  What fills the day is what gets complicated.  

When I started creating this life, I had a dream that I would be waking up in the morning and getting up right away, chanting or meditating with incense and then practicing my asanas.  I now practicing my cleansing practices and it is usually time to either meet 

Marzad in the Tuktuk or get an Uber to go teach somewhere.  

I have started to incorporate Sutra Neti into my routine helping the blockages in my nasal passages followed by Jal Neti.  This has done wonders for my breathing.  My nasal passages are clear and open allowing my body to receive more oxygen.  My concentration has improved along with my focus.  

I have been wanting to start going back to the gym but find that there is little time for this and I fully acknowledge that this may be an excuse.  Regardless of all this concentration and focus there are still excuses and times that I feel like I’m rushing around trying to do as many things as possible so I can check as many boxes off as possible throughout the day.  It doesn’t help that for a year, I was told by my coach that I needed to follow a rigid routine.  

Routines are good but to become so rigid that missing one thing throws you off.  I am working on this now to find the right flow for me.  Some days, I have to completely go with the flow without knowing what I will being doing the next hour and others the day is completely planned by the half hour.  Being present will help guide me to my routine or flow.  There are so many things up in the air right now that I need to present to everything so I don’t forget about the things that are most important to me.

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Day 114: Certified

Another day of vibrations and sounds made up the entire day today.  I woke up with energy and positivity but can definitely feel a change in my body.  It is hard to describe but I can feel my body opening up emotionally and physically.  The confidence level of the subject matter was high regarding the Trigunas and Puncha Mahatbhutas because of my training with the Yoga Institute.  

We started the day with a song/prayer from Revish with the same instrument from yesterday.  It is going to be so hard to go back to the US where the culture is mainly brought from war and racism from India where people more culture literally in their fingernail.  After the prayer we did a group session with the bowls. It was very relaxing as the sounds were from all the various different bowls including a huge one that I stood in as it vibrated.  

Doug and I both became certified Sound Healers today.  This is the first thing that we have done together in a while regarding spiritual  and mental growth.  Time does not allow for us to always do these things together.  I am so happy and proud that he join me.  He even started to talk about ways that this would be exciting to bring this into a Retreat Center and help others.  To say that the doors have started to open is an understatement.

During dinner and breaks, I enjoyed sweets and tea.  I limited myself to sweets only during lunch and no cookies/biscuits during breaks.  This helped me to reassure myself that I wasn’t on my way to regressing back to old habits and addictions.  One thing that I have noticed is that I don’t associate the sweets with gaining weight but that they are just plain bad for me.  I have a very strong chance of dealing with diabetes in my own life due to a long family history on both sides of my family.  

After lunch, we learned more about the affects of diseases with use of the singing bowls.  There are so many claims that believe to have cured cancer, diabetes and other ailments with this practice.  I can’t wait to take them home to help so many people.  Now, we are certified so I have another skill for helping people under my belt.  I have the power to help change the lives of so many people in this world. 

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Day 113: Vibrations

Today, Doug and I attended the first day of a certification program to become sound healers.  The entire day was spent talking about brainwaves and experiencing the power of sound in our own mind and bodies.  I would be lying if I said I don’t feel different on the inside.

At first, we sat at tables with a man, Revish, playing this guitar like instrument with one string.  He sang this beautiful prayer and we started.  He explained his background and how he became interested in the power of sound.  This technique is actually called Nada Yoga and is also part of a Kriya.  He immediately gave us our first therapy session so that we could experience it for ourselves.  

I couldn’t believe how relaxed I felt after just one session.  The vibrations of the bowls completely brought me into the present and relaxed my muscles completely.  We continued with the sessions by practicing and my partner was my practice client.  Practicing on him reminded me of the joy I felt while in massage school.  After a few minutes, he began to snore.  He gets embarrassed by this but I feel honored that m practice can bring such a state of relaxation.  

I drank several Chai throughout the day without guilt and had several small desserts with our lunch.  I don’t feel guilty for this because I can not shame myself for feeling good with sweets.  I think I have learned my lesson because I am not craving these things and I don’t feel that urge to overindulge.  I refrained from sugar and sweets for several months now and can feel the difference mentally in regards to both.

It was a great first day of the training and look forward to tomorrow.  I am sleepy and can feel the heaviness in my body from waking up at 4:30am, teaching and ending the certification training at 6:30pm.  Surprisingly, time didn’t seemed to drag on and was experienced quite the opposite.  Looking forward to what tomorrow has to bring.

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Day 112: Clouded

Today is International Yoga Day.  I got to teach my yoga teacher’s students and also a group from a hostel called MTNL.  MTNL is the company that handles the landline phones in Mumbai.  The students were all fantastic but what I noticed most this International Yoga Day was the change within me of who I am as a teacher and as a person.

My confidence level in my choices and my teaching are not even comparable from 2.5 years ago.  It’s amazing that I can even sit in Sukasana for several hours not let alone be able to hold asanas for a long period of time.  In my ability to perform the asanas, I can now teach others with ease and compassion.  For the most part, I can see where a student is mentally just by the expression on their faces.  An eye roll doesn’t crush me anymore.  It inspires me to try and connect with that person.

My weight has been reducing lately but, even more noticeably, I have lost inches.  I have lost enough inches that I am two holes on my belt smaller than in March.  I have started to not stress about my weight and then it is has decided to drop.  I’m completely ok with that.  I ride on a pair of pants today that I haven’t been able to wear since about a year ago.  Switching to vegetarianism has helped dramatically.

My interactions with people are deeper and more grounded.  When you are a genuinely nice and friendly person, you never have to compromise who you are to fit a situation or a group of people.  I’m not talking about the ‘nice’ people you meet who just are nice to avoid any sort of conflict but the people who are nice regardless.  Those ‘nice’ people are usually the first people to spout negativity as soon as they are around a group they are comfortable with.  I’m not having any of it.

So, Happy International Yoga Day!  I hope at some point today you got to get some fresh air and stretch your arms to the sky being thankful just for the air you breathe.  It is simply a time to reflect and feel connect to a world of people that you may never even meet.  Enjoy the world around you because all of it is temporary and if you don’t enjoy it today it might not be there tomorrow.  

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Day 110: Feedback

I recently had an encounter with someone that gave me unsolicited feedback about one of my Yoga classes. At first, I was taken aback because I immediately thought that I had done something wrong without knowing. However, this feedback was regarding the way that ended class after Shavasana. It was told to me that my music was too loud and that I was shouting when people were trying to meditate. At first, I wanted the person to be wrong but the more I looked at it this person was absolutely correct.

I have a hearing loss in both ears due to sitting in front of the drum line for many years of marching band. I play trumpet so that also doesn’t help things. Well, this was my first excuse anyways. I instantly thought about all the times that when I bring presence into my voice volume that I can adjust perfectly fine without shouting at people.

I always get nervous teaching at this particular studio as I am the ‘Fat Yoga Teacher’. Body image matters a lot at this particular studio and I always get self conscious about it regardless of the improvement of my body. Students here are attending here to look better not to improve their quality of thoughts despite their attempts at philanthropy and the amazing people that I have the privilege to teach. The idea of yoga has been warped all around the world and that doesn’t exclude its origin.

Shavasana is not a meditative posture. It is a relaxation posture. So, to this person’s feedback - why are you trying to disconnect from me when I am giving clear instruction on what to do. Then, I think about my ego and why I am placing importance on this person listening to me anyway. Every time there is another teacher in the room while you are teaching there will be judgement. I judge people’s lifestyles and how they differ from the principles of yoga. I have been getting better at not doing this but I set such a high standard on myself that I try to impose it on others.

So, what was once a part of everyday life is now something that is chewed on and pondered. A simple feedback is taken not personally but to the heart to be the best teacher I can possibly for every student that trusts me with their mind and body. I am very grateful that this person showed the courage to bring the feedback to me in person because so often anymore people hide behind the vail of social media or text messaging. The person I have become has lifetimes to be the person I aspire to be.

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Day 109: My Relationship with Meat

Over the past several years, I have cut down on my meat consumption. Although, it is easier to do such a thing in India with some restaurants labeling specifically that they are Veg or Non-Veg. In the expat community from the US all you hear is complaints about not having beef. Most of these people would be too scared to eat a samosa from a regular food vendor but they forget that our beef comes from many places besides the US with all sorts of different regulation rules. I don’t miss beef or chicken.

During our first 3 months here, I had a crab curry and that was about the extent of my seafood consumption as well. The crab was good but where the crab comes from matters to me. The water pollution is so horrible here that anything remotely close to the Mumbai shore would not be edible for me. In Sri Lanka, the seafood is fresh and the shrimps are huge.

However, back to beef and chicken. These to meats are staples in the US. We consume pork too. Recent studies have shown the link between processed meats and cancer. The problem with the food chain now is that we have done so many bad things to it that we can’t reverse or stop the disease and squaller that the cows live in. We have genetically altered their bones and fat cells.

While I don’t eat a lot of meat, I still occasionally try the meat dish, I don’t see the hype. Normally, I get the meat sweats. This is a feeling of lathargy accompanied by sweating after consuming a plate of meat. Beef is illegal to produce in Maharashtra so the beef dish is rare. With the changes I have made in my diet, I am not sure that beef would react well with my stomach. I find that meat in general make me feel heavy. It wasn’t until a lesson on the 3 Gunas that any of this made sense of why all this happens. Eating planted-based foods are the best option for feeing lighter and not needing that 2:30pm sugar crash.

I have a relationship with meat that has grown kind of distant since I have started consuming a more vegetarian diet. My sources of protein range from tofu, paneer and lentils. There are many products in the market for diets and plant-based foods. Finding what works for you is the best thing you can do. Stick with it for a while and start making adjustments to your day and style by allowing your body to tell you what makes it function at its best.

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Day 106: A Preacher and a Cop in a Church

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Lately, there has been a video circulating on social media regarding a cop-preacher who has called for the elimination and execution of gays.  This not only reminds me of the insane laws against ‘gender traitors’ from Gilead from a Handmaid’s Tale but I remember a time long ago when these was everyday.   Perhaps the man and his words stand out so much now because of how far we have come to except those around us.

I pity this man because he probably had something horrible happen to him as a child or has suppressed homosexual tendencies himself.  He needs to let those feelings out somewhere and this is the group that he has targeted for his frustration.  I wish that it was just his frustration that was disturbing but it is not.  He seems to be even paranoid that the gays are tampering with his food.  Regardless of if he was paranoid before, he should be now. 

He specifically targets men in his ‘sermon’.  This is what leads me to think that he has something deep inside of him that he is afraid to let out or some insecurity that is leading to such hateful extremes.  He talks about the man at the Clinique counter and how he has rejected God.  Can a man just do his job?  Many of these types of videos or even people set a fire off inside of the gay community along with their allies but they go to the same place that this man does - extreme hate.

You cannot combat this negativity in this way.  You have to approach the pain of a person like you would if a child was hurt because, most likely, that pain comes from their childhood.  Instead of throwing stones at this person, we should look into why he has these feelings and help this person heal.  He has obviously some form of phobia stemming from a trauma that he is suffering from. 

When we look at people as our brothers and sisters in the good and bad times, this type of hatred has no place.  When we start treating everyone with the same respect as you would God, there would be no war.  However, we, as a human race, can’t even let someone have their own idea of what gender or race God is.  It is sad to see this type of public display of hate.  My prayers are for this man and any closeted person in the congregation that lives in pain and lies everyday that they find peace.  Erase hate out of your heart and the world becomes heart-shaped peace sign. 

 

Day 105: 3 Things People Constantly Ask Me

I have been proclaimed a super human with extraordinary powers but I’m just like everyone else with the same potential.  I always feel awkward when someone compliments me because I truly feel that what I did is possible for them to do as well.  We all have the same abilities.  Here are several questions that people ask me when I have achieved something or performed well.

1. Where do you get your energy? 

Sometimes, I wonder where my energy comes from.  I try to eat the right foods, exercise and meditate regularly.  I tend to stay away from people and things that contain negative energy or gives me a negative vibe.  I would have to say that eliminating the things that do not provide anything positive is a huge contributor.  I am able to do my work and still have energy when I’m done.  It goes without saying that I do hit low periods of energy and I avoid people completely.  So, most people never get to see the low energy side of me. 

2. Do you ever sleep? 

This question makes me laugh because I love sleep probably more than anyone.  I know how many hours of sleep I need so I plan accordingly.  I go to my bed at around 9pm every night and am asleep or about to fall asleep at 10pm most of the time.  Sometimes I fall asleep early so that I can wake back up and spend some time with my partner.  With his work hours, we fit in as much time as we can.  I get generally around 8 hours of sleep everyday.  Sunday’s are my cheat days so I’m sleep in a little more and get 9 hours of sleep.  Knowing how much sleep I need to be at my maximum capacity is a responsibility and duty to myself.   So, yes, I sleep.

3. Is there anything that you can’t do? 

Yes.  There are lots of things I can’t do because I haven’t tried everything.  I love music, art and theatre and for the longest time I thought these things were going to be my livelihood.  I sway from thinking that I’m just not into it or it was too hard or political. I absolutely hate politics.  Someone can be the most talented person in the world but when politics are involved forget any chances if you have enemies.  I can’t get along with everyone even though I have nothing but nice things to say about everyone.  I can’t be fake.  The things that I can’t do are all within me just like anything that is possible is within you.

Being in Marketing and Public Relations you get to see a lot of people and personalities.  These are just a few of the questions that people frequently ask me. I have done many things in life because I’m not afraid of failure. I have failed many times but I always walk into a situation consuming the abundance of lessons that will come regardless of failure or success.  If you have any question that you would like to ask me, feel free to reach out at jeremy@thejeremyeaton.com and I will respond.   

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Day 104: Distance

In my twenties, I did not understand the importance of distance in the relationships that I had.  I smothered everyone afraid that they would leave and that I would have no friends.  Even worse, I was terrified of being by myself.  Over the past 5 years, I have come to not only understand the importance of this distance but appreciate it as well.  Here are 3 benefits that intentionally creating some distance can help you ignite that flame upon coming together.

1. You Have Stuff to Talk About

Life can be mundane at best sometimes.  We wake up to our morning routines, go to work and come home to do our evening routines.  Doing the same thing day in and day out can seem pretty boring to talk about.  When there is distance in your relationship with one person going on a trip, there could have been some exciting news or some funny story to tell. When two people that are close are separated for a while, the urge to talk is greater so you find that there is more to talk about when they return. 

2. The Sex is Amazing

If you have ever been away from your partner long, you know that the anticipation of sex is high.  Before your suitcases even become unzipped, you find that other things have been unzipped and ready for action.  With the anticipation high and the feelings of longing, you have an emotional plot line for some savory sexy time.  Enough said about that.

3. The Love is Stronger

These days couples go through such extreme pressure from family, friends and society at large.  If a couple can spend periods of time without each other, the love that they share actually grows stronger. You have to trust someone in order to feel comfortable leaving them alone for several weeks or even months in my case.  Since they are not around each other all the time, the love is fresh and new all the time.  

They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder.  This statement is very true.  When you have distance and space both people are able to be free and explore more of who they are.  Becoming solid in who you are will help any relationship that you have.  The largest struggle in life is to be comfortable in silence with yourself. 

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Day 103: Jump Off The Diving Board

I have never thought of myself as a person with great fears. For the most part, I’m pretty much fearless. I have never liked being near the ocean at night but that didn’t stop me when I pedaled my bike 27 miles from San Francisco to Half Moon Bay on Independence Day several years ago. I didn’t let physical pain stop me from pedaling all the way back to San Francisco the next day.

There are several moments when I knew the moment was right and I jumped. I jumped without the contemplation of what could go wrong or not knowing all the details that could have helped me in the long run. I’m not looking for a perfect end product but rather one that was discovered with excitement and curiosity. So, when did I develop self sabotage and this hesitancy that I am starting to feel?

Over the past several years, I have learned that I can literally do anything I want to if I’m willing to put in the work. However, I still stand on the diving board wobbling every time the board moves. Why can’t I just jump into the water without looking around at better options? I have found lately that I want to do everything than what I need to be doing. With the recent attacks on my two chihuahuas, I have become lazy and undisciplined. The first time left me paralyzed as I had no idea what to do for the 3lbs beings.

I started thinking about all the things that I feel I am not enough in. The list was insanely long and I have no idea where that came from. I started to feel that I have nothing to give the world because of one accident that took my smaller dogs to the hospital. I had to make sure that they were eating, pooping and peeing and eventually they did. These very tiny beings consumed my life but I jumped all in and nursed them back to health. I left the television off at points throughout the past two weeks.

I feel that jumping off the diving board scares me because I have preconceived ideas about what happens when I go all in and succeed at something. This keeps me from being my authentic self and protect me from responsibly of the fabulousness that would surely ensue. I am scared of the Jeremy that really doesn’t care about the opinion of others and who can concentrate for hours on end without wavering. The shiny object syndrome is losing its shine and the dullness of routine is grinding down time.

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Day 102: 3 Ways Filtering Yourself Isn't Serving You

We all have those situation where we need to ‘know our audience’.  However, perhaps it’s the audience that needs to expand and not you that needs to filter yourself or change per your environment.  It makes me very sad to see a grown adult do this in an adult situation.  Pull up your boot straps and get your raincoats on because someone is bound to cry.  In this post, I will point out 3 ways that filtering yourself is just not working.

1. You Turn the Filter Off in Situations Where It Doesn’t Matter (Gossip)

In many, if not all, social circles, we ourselves gossip or we listen to gossip.  The real question to ask is - Where does that gossip go?  I have yet to meet a person that doesn’t or hasn’t participated in some form of gossip.  In these situations, I often find that people have no problem ripping that filter off like a bandaid, but in situations where their opinion would really matter they choose to remain silent or slap the filter back on.  It’s a strange phenomena where people limit themselves where they could do good and uninhibitedly rant for no more than entertainment value.  So, if not anything for the world just to be a better place just stop it because your gossip doesn’t matter.

2. You Don’t Feel Important/Valid/Worthy

You matter.  In my observation of people, they tend to always want to be nice and, generally, good human beings.  It is a mystery why the worst is always assumed of people when this principle is true.  In today’s culture, it often feels like people already come to a situation defeated or depleted.  In work environments, schools and homes, people filter themselves because of their feelings of irrelevancy, unworthiness and invalidity. 

3. You Are Giving Away Your Power

When I have found myself putting my filter over my lips, I feel like I gave away some of my power.  There is one simple answer - Just don’t do it.  It is always ok to say that you need to take a moment to yourself and breathe.  When confronted with a situation that requires you to be silent or be the bad guy, always - always - be the bad guy.  The truth is way more important than sparing someone’s feelings and probably hurting others.  Stand in your power and do what’s right.  The same applies to situations where you need to reach out for feelings of loneness or depression.  You become empowered just by not giving away your power. 

In normal everyday life, people are constantly trying to be nice and not rock the boat.  After all, there is enough negativity in the world, right?  Standing up for what is right is not adding to the drama in the world.  It is shining light on the darkness.  It is joining someone that needs help.  So, the next time you feel that you need to put the filter on take a deep breath and remember the courage that you have while you are gossiping and use that power to save the world. 

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Day 101: Television

The next place I live will have my own separate living room or no television.  The past few days, I have watched everything you could possibly watch on Netflix.  I was sucked into the television vortex so much that I started rewatching a series that I have already watched twice, Schitt’s Creek.  This show is absolutely hilarious.

However, with all the television I watched over the weekend, I don’t feel that it benefited my brain or wellbeing.  I enjoy television, but lately, it has been too easy to sit in front of the television and forget about the passing time.  I have too many things to do to be watching the television.  I knowingly procrastinate using the television as an excuse to not do anything. 

I’m say that because walking down the hallway to pick up my Zomato order seemed to be too much on Sunday evening.  The weather in Mumbai has been very humid.  It zaps the energy right out of you.  Also, with watching too much television, you want to eat all the bad things.  I did find a place called The Barn Grill that has the best veggie patty I have had to date.  The brioche bun tasted just like my aunts.  It was delicious and definitely worth the walk down the hallway to collect it. 

I tend to watch things that don’t require a lot of thinking.  So, television is strictly for entertainment purposes.  I did watch a documentary on a guy who photographed all the modern day Guru’s in India.  I couldn’t tell you what I learned but the cinema photography was outstanding.  They made everywhere this man went look completely gorgeous.  The photographer took photos of a lot of famous American Film stars. 

With this said, television is going to be on the list of things that changes when we figure out where in the world we are going to live in this next chapter of life.  I should be documenting this more so that this journey would possibly be on television.  I would love to be the host of a show that explores new places on National Geographic or something.  With my new found love of travel, I feel I could bring a lot to this realm.

 

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Day 100: 100 Days

I am writing today on the 100th day of writing in the blog of The Jeremy Eaton. I have learned so much by adding this daily reflection into my life. I have learned that people in Garden Grove love my blog. I have went through all the feelings of wanting to give up and stop writing. I have procrastinated until right before I go to bed sometimes to write. Keeping this simple everyday task has already changed my views on being committed to something.

Since the self is a duty, I have been treating this writing as such. I still can’t believe that it’s been 100 days. Over three months ago, I had this blog but had no desire to use it. I have really no expectation out of writing this except that one day I will be able to look back and reflect on how far I have come. I will be able to look at all the trails and errors that I took along the way. What was not funny may become hysterical and what was once sad may be happy.

I am feeling more independent lately. I don’t feel like working in groups on things. I have also found myself missing home. More than anything, I miss my mom. I have been taking care of the pups during their time of injury. I feel like I need to start writing more about asanas, pranayama and meditation but regurgitating information that can be found on thousands of sites seems completely mundane.

I have started building my course materials so that I can start a teachers training as soon as I move back to the states. At this rate, the money I make off of that could be for a move to Puerto Rico. I am very ‘up in the air’ about what I actually want to do because there are so many different possibilities for me to choose from. With my new idea of creating a yoga school, I have been dreaming about this life where I work two months and take two months off. This is very exciting to me.

Celebrating these 100 days isn’t a celebration, it’s a reflection. A reflection of trying to figure all of this out. Trying to figure out my feelings and observing some of the behavior I have exhibited over the past three months. Writing feels less like a chore and more like a duty to myself. I am excited for the adventure that awaits.

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Day 99: And, Repeat.

Today was a bit of a challenge. After showering and getting ready to head to Bandra at 7am, the same dog that attacked the first time has attacked again. This time she only got to Maverick. I jammed my middle knuckle on my right ring finger. Again, it happened so fast.

The giant fluffy dog was creeping up on us as Maverick and Tyson were going to the restroom. I looked back and there she was. I ran to Tyson and, by the time I could get to Maverick, she already had him in her mouth with him screaming in pain. She let him go and he laid on the ground screaming with a broken, bleeding tooth. This time he has a puncture wound on his right back leg.

This is the second time in a week that this has happened but the other dog has no clue that she is hurting my little boys. She sincerely wants to play with them. I’m afraid that opportunity has flown out the window. The owner wants to coordinate times to take the dogs out. I told him I needed to deal with the matter at hand first and we can talk about that later.

I went all the way to Mahalaxmi again for the Chihuahuas to be evaluated. Tyson’s appointment was today anyway for his checkup so I headed down there. It took about an 1.5 hours to get to the Vet Hospital. I still had blood on my leg. After waiting for some time, the vet came and looked at Maverick. They took him all the way in the back where the owners can’t go. I hate that. I just want to be there for my little guy.

I think Maverick’s going to be alright. He escaped with a missing tooth and another one loose, a puncture wound and a cut lip. He is already wanting treats and is going potty outside. I had to miss class again today and won’t be able to teach in the morning as I have to closely supervise Maverick for 24 hours. Although, I’m going to regret it later, taking this break was needed. I have gotten to catch up on my own life and check in with myself.

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Day 98: Back At It

After taking several days off from my schooling to be with my little dogs during their recovery, I noticed several old bad habits trying to creep in.  It is easy to fall back into old habits when stress and time are in abundance.  I had every intention of picking up that book and typing my anatomy notes but they stayed next to me on the couch as my remote stayed in my left hand.  I had plans of getting some stuff done over the past few days but taking care of my little babies, Maverick and Tyson, was the highest, and only, priority.

I wanted to work on school stuff but didn’t have the motivation to actually start working.  I have this stress already forming about an exam that is still 3 months away.  I have fear of failure and fear of not performing well.  Yoga is all about going with the flow and I have been practicing this for a while now.  I have stopped worrying about time while walking my dogs.  I used to think that 30 minutes was long enough to walk the big boys but have learned that they will tell me when they are ready.  Sometimes, it takes them 45 minutes to smell and pee on everything and other times it will take 20 minutes.  This is good relaxation time for me until I have to pick up dog poop.w

Instead of homework and studying, I cuddled my little boys and made sure that I did everything that helped them get better.  I provided a space of calmness and peace for 4 days.   Honestly, my house still feels and smells like peace and relaxation.  I went long periods of time without the television on.  I laid next to them in silent just praying that they would get better and heal quickly.  The first couple of days were almost paralyzing because I couldn’t do anything but give Tyson medicine to feel better.  It was very sad at my house.

I have every device you could imagine that would make it possible to my work from anywhere but had no desire to pick them up and actually start working.  I did meditate and practice yoga asana.  I enjoy being silent.  Before class on Monday, I meditated from the time I laid down my mat to the time the teacher started class.  It was only about 15 minutes but having that mental clarity is a great way to prepare for classes that are sometimes in a different language or has a ton of foreign terms to learn.  I feel that this is why I’m already so uneasy about the exams.  There are so many terms to learn. 

While I feel as though the last several days have been spent taking care of my two little patients, all the love and affection that was given to them has paid off.  Tyson is going to the bathroom and Maverick is becoming his old self again.  It is so crazy to think a little less than a week ago, things could have turned out really bad for them.  I went through my first real crisis since the course began and I feel it helped me be calm and in the moment.  There are small subtle changes happening within me all time and they are measured by my lack of emotional reaction.  My dogs got hurt and it threw me the first night but then it turned into me judge needing to take care of my babies as if it were a duty.

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Day 97: 3 Things That Will Help You Work on Patience

How many times have you been on your way home and need to stop at the grocery store?  The lines are long and you always avoid the store at this time.  You are already disturbed because you don’t want to be there in the first place.  Then, the checkout clerk has to do a price check for the customer in front of you.  Three customers behind you have a screaming toddler.  You are losing your patience when you learn that the clerk’s first day is also today.  We have the control to reign in our emotions at anytime.  Here are three ways that will help you the next time you want to storm out of the store.

1. Take Deep Breaths

While the heart rate is up, it is important to realize that your heightened emotions are a symptom of that.  Breathing deeply from your abdomen is not even recognizable.  If you patience is about completely gone, close your eyes.  Abdominal breathing has been proven to reduce any feelings of agitation.  While it may feel impossible to close your eye and mindfully breathe in the moment, taking this conscious step will help you in that next situation where you are going to explode or say something that you won’t be able to take back.  Your breath is with you always and is the best mood stabilizer you should ever need.

2. Don’t Place Blame on Anyone

Usually when we are late, we try to blame the traffic, the Uber driver or a phone mishap.  When you find yourself feeling impatient, don’t place blame on anyone, including yourself.  It is no one’s fault that it is raining outside or that some people take longer to do things than others.  When we try to place blame, we are trying to focus all of that negative energy on someone or something.  Normally, it is unwarranted because no one is at fault.  Evaporate that energy completely by placing compassion where the blame wants to go.  This will go a long way especially with the children crying and the cash registers with all their different alerts and sounds feeling like they are piercing your skull. 

3. Focus on Gratitude

While you are at the grocery store there are many families that are struggling to make ends meet.  Even if waiting in line for a really long time is annoying, start being thankful for all of the little things that allow you to be in the store in the first place.  Boredom is a devil’s den.  When we get bored we forget the very things that are at our fingertips all the time.  We take for granted that our job is going well.  So, in our routines we need to allow time as a varying factor.  An extra 10 minutes at the store means an extra ten minutes to reflect on our day or let go of the negative energy we collected at work.  Being grateful is one of the best superpowers in combating negative emotions and feelings. 

You have tools that are free at your fingertips all the time to prevent emotions of impatience.  Realizing that this feeling of impatience is a choice, sometimes helps people discover that there are other choices that could be made.  When we can do that at any point at any time, there is a radical shift in the compassion to others.  Maybe next time you get frazzled at the store because of some small children, you’ll ask that mom that is panicked over pissing everyone off if she needs help with the child or in general. 

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Day 96: ‘I Want To Change’

During my childhood, change meant that my father was unhappy with something about you as a person, something in his own life that he was unhappy with or anything that was indifferent to his own views or standards. I got really good at changing certain parts about me. Later, this translated into an identity crisis because I was changing myself for everyone or any giving situation. I would agree to things that I didn’t agree with, hang around with people who didn’t value me as a person and give up anytime there was something else easier.

Many people want to change for various reason. However, my lesson from the past made change about everyone else but myself. Authenticity is the only thing that keeps you being who you are. When you lose this ability or feel trapped, are you being yourself or fitting to a situation to make life easier for someone or yourself? That’s not authenticity.

Authentic people are rare. I would say the largest group of authentic people I have met were in San Francisco while I was studying for my BFA in Fine Art. I had 6 roommates that I admired and loved very much. We all lived in a 3-bedroom apartment. It was cramped but the universe blessed me with these amazing souls. We cooked together, had tea together and shared some of life’s most intimate details. I discovered so much of myself in that apartment with my brothers and sisters.

They had no problem to change jobs or complete life paths. Besides the family that was created in Hotel Broderick, its branches extended far and wide and, now, even wider. I have a friend that is a chef all over the world and a yoga instructor, a friend that made her all the way to live in Paris and several friends living in the mountains making the most of life. They chose all of these. I heard them talk about their dreams around our dining room table. Then, I watched them come true at that same table.

So, rather than saying that you want to change other people or your environment, start changing those things within yourself. You will be surprised how much the world will seem different because of changes you made for yourself and by yourself. Instant and change are two words that don’t generally belong together if you are changing with long-term goals in mind. Long-term change is slow moving. Start with the first brick and, eventually, you have a whole house.

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