Guys (and GALS), Stop Stressing About What to do for Valentine's Day

What do I buy?  Where do I take my date out for dinner?  How do I make Valentine's Day special? If you find yourself asking yourself any of these question this Valentine's Day season, fear no more.  Most of the time, we stress out about making our partner happy because we want to make them feel as special as they are to us.  I'm here to tell you that your fear is easier to overcome than you realize (and, if done right, cheaper too).  

First, a DIY Valentine's Day is the best way you can show your partner that you care.  If you want to score points this Valentine's Day, forget the fancy restaurant and the expensive jewelry.  Call them up and say, "I have Valentine's Day taken care of."  This takes pressure off of your partner and, maybe, they don't do well in situations where they make all the decisions.  This may be hard for my Type-A's and control freaks.  

Second, start planning.  If you are one of those that can't handle making all the decisions, ask a trusted friend that you can be open and honest with.  Friends love to help with situations where you feel vulnerable.  After all, that is why they are your friend, right?  The DIY route is a complete path of freedom.  You can plan a night of food, wine and massage.  You can plan a night in pajamas, Netflix, carry out and cuddles.  You can have a memorable Valentine's Day and only spend about $10-$50.  The best gift that you can give someone on Valentine's Day is yourself.  With Wednesday being Valentine's Day this year, don't let a school night put off showing your partner how much you care about them.  

The day of Valentine's Day, BE EXCITED!  Text 1-2 messages saying that you are excited and can't wait until later.  Be careful not to overwhelm your partner.  Be prepared for your evening together.  This takes time and make sure not to make time last minute.  No one likes it when a person says that they are going to take charge and doesn't.

According to statista.com, 45% of Americans will not have sex on Valentine's Day.  When it comes to sex, let it happen organically.  You have a choice to have a memorable Valentine's Day that was sweet and relaxing.  Or, you could have a Valentine's Day where you remember it because you were mad about not having sex.  Don't be that person.  With Valentine's Day being on a Wednesday, I'm sure there will be many people choosing disappointment.  Does sex equal love?

You've made all the plans and set the scene for an evening that is perfect.  Now, enjoy the night and make sure to take a selfie at some point in the night.  Most people make plans and feel that they have to stick to them.  Keep your plans simple.  If it helps, keep within what you would normally do on a Wednesday night.  Come home and change.  Eat.  Lounge around the TV.  There are so many things possible when you look at how simple it really is.  You can make excuses that you don't have a sitter or that you can't afford it.  You don't realize that your love life is just like the rest of your life - It's all by your design.  

The next day make sure to tell your partner that you enjoyed the night together.  Taking for granted that you were meant to enjoy Valentine's Day together is never a good thing for either party.  So, be sure to follow up with your partner.  A simple text message or a phone call (if people still do that anymore) is perfect.  Remember that selfie that you took, run by your local Walgreen's or CVS on your way home and make a copy of it and put it in a frame.  Place the picture on their side of the bed.  Then, watch their heart melt when they arrive home.

If your partner is disappointed by having a more DIY Valentine's Day, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship and its priorities.  Is your partner happier with flashy things and caviar?  You poured your heart out and the result was not what you expected.  That's life.  Fortunately, for you Valentine's Day is one day out of the year.  If you are going all out this year for Valentine's Day, will you remember it next year?  

If you end up single this year by taking my suggestion, I apologize.  I promise you will find someone that will appreciate your sincere attempts at showing your more vulnerable side.  When you say "I love you" it should never mean "I do for you" or "I buy for you".  

Was your night epic?  YES!  I hope that you would share in the comments below of your experience.  If this Valentine's Day finds you alone all above can apply to having a date with yourself.  In either case, have a happy Valentine's Day!

It's Time for My Life to Start

We all can listen to the podcasts.  We can all watch the same free online content about how to make your dream life happen.  We all love hearing about the things we need to do, but very seldom to we take action on those very things to better our own lives.  Are we content with what we have?  

I have been working with Wesley Chapman with A Human Project and my experience has been a roller coaster.  It was just last week that I had a 'lightbulb moment' and all things seemed to come together in this Big Bang.  

I have always wanted to do good things with and for people.  This was my gift and my curse. I had unconditional love but my love had conditions.  I would do things that would have these unmentioned attachments.  Some of these attachments, I wasn't aware of consciously.  So, for the past several months, I have been working on this trait of unconditional love that I thought I had mastered so long ago.  We all do this with our partners, parents, children, co-workers and anyone that we come into contact with.  I started to realize that I had no idea what unconditional love was at all, but I screamed from the mountain tops that I was unconditional love.  

Breaking apart every failed human relationship I have had in my past made me realize my fault and the part I played in the downfall of that relationship.  It is only now that I can look at these people and truly forgive them while finding a way to erase the guilt from my own heart.  The time of forgiving myself has come and gone.  Moving to a country where I know no one has made me realize that, in this world and for it to work, we all need each other.  Every one of us is a support to one another.  

I look at the reason why people hate on each other and want to hide my head in shame.  This world is a cruel place and we wonder why suicide is looked at as the only option for some.  You have to know love to know hate.  You have to know wrong to know forgiveness.  You have to know a superhero to know a villain.  

There are three reasons that you have negative feelings towards a person:

1. They have something you want (a lifestyle, a talent, etc)
2. They bring out something dark or negative that you possess (a person that is late, a person that fails to keep commitments, etc)
3. They failed to meet an expectation that you set (Most likely, you didn't tell them that expectation.)

I don't bring these things up because I am pointing a finger at anyone but myself.  I do have people that hate me, my life and my very being.  How do I let my haters affect me?  I don't.  People hate some of societies most valued figures.  As we approach Republic Day in India, I am reminded that even Ghandi, the leader of the independence of India, was shot dead because someone hated him.  He promoted peace and freedom. 

I can't speak for others, but I can speak for my own actions.  Have I always done proud by my parents?  No.  Have I let people down?  Yes.  Do I regret any of it?  No.  Everything I have done in my life has lead to a lesson in some way.  Have people been hurt by my actions?  Yes.  Have I burnt many bridges?  Yes.  Again, do I regret any of it?  No.  The stage in my life where I have started letting all this go has begun.  

Life really is as simple as we want to make it.  We need more kindness in the world.  We need more compassion.  We need more change.  The world is already changing all around us everyday. Are you part of that change?  - or - Are you leading the change in your own life?  

If your answer is no to both of those questions, it's time for your own life to start.  Unfortunately, in reality, no one is going to kick start your life for you.  The time is now.  

Day 25 - There's No Place Like Home For the Holidays

Day 25 - There's No Place Like Home For the Holidays

For the next 25 days, I'm going to sing a Christmas song for you. #25daysofChristmas

***This was recorded on an APP called SMULE SING! and legally downloaded for sharing on Social Media Platforms***

Day 24 - O Holy Night

Day 24 - O Holy Night

For the next 25 days, I'm going to sing a Christmas song for you. #25daysofChristmas

***This was recorded on an APP called SMULE SING! and legally downloaded for sharing on Social Media Platforms***